Mission Accomplished, nuts are snipped.

This will be a graphic post. Some may not want to read it.

I have crossed into the land of sterility. Yesterday at 4 pm, I had a successful vasectomy. Stop flinching guys. Its not as bad as you think. Now I admit my nerves were pretty fucked by 2 yesterday. I had no idea what to expect. I just knew that in hours some Dr. dude was going to work on my balls with a knife. When you strip it down that basic, it scares the shit out of you. So work was pretty tense for me yesterday. I kept staring out into space and not really being productive at all. But come on, can you blame a guy? But guess what? That was all for naught.

The really good thing was I got to pop a 10 mg vallum yesterday before the surgery. I haven't got to munch on a blueberry in like 10 years. I love vallum. And I'll say that again, I love vallum. Your supposed to wait till an hour before the surgery, but since I had some recreational experience with the blueberry, i crushed that bad boy 2 hours before. Kind dumb cause I was fucked up at work for that last 15 min. The drive home was pretty interesting too. Don't worry, my wife was there waitng to drive me to and from the surgery. She was great through all this. I love her more than vallum. I know you guys are like "I bet she was.", but this was my decision more than hers. I made my mind up that if I didn't find my love and become married by the time I was 40, I would do this anyway. So after we had our child, I wanted to wait a year and bring it up again, she was down, I was down. Anyway I digress, after changing into something more comfortable, we were off to the urologist.

We get there, I am in a state of pretty much not giving a fuck at this point. The office attendants were all smiling and kinda having the jokes on you type of looks going on. It was cool with me. This whole thing in my mind shows to people what kind of a partner I am to my wife. I would rather have this done than her have her tubes tied. So we wait for a bit and I go in about 10 minutes later. We get in the back room and I strip the pants off, jump up the table and whip out my Gameboy Advance and start playing centipede. Hey its my favorite game from back in the day and it really occupies my mind. The nurse slaps a heating pad on my sac and I am warming up for anothe 10 minutes. The doc comes in and deems my sac is warm enought to go and I have to give up on a pretty damn good round of centipede. I was up in the 40,000, shit was gettin hectic! So the words "Your gonna feel a mosquito bite" really got my attention and ping I was stuck. By this time it was just me and the doc in the room.

He said "Like a chincoteauge mosquito."

I said "Shit man thats like a Deal Island mosquito."

The novacane took like 30 seconds to take effect and I didn't feel the other nut get shot up, but it was all really numb. I could feel anthing, just pressure of being manipulated. First he tied my junk up in this crazy restraining device made of prmaery colors. I thought that was good becasue its was bright and you could see it, kind like warning lights. Then he clamped on the jewels with some shit I couldn't see and went to work.

"Tell me if you feel and sharp pain."

The bitch of it was I said yes. Cause when he sliced that first tube, I felt that shit. So he shot me up with more novacane and from there on out, I didn't feel anything. No an instance of pain, nothing. So I figured since I got a urologist and my weak ass didn't pass out whole this guy was shredding my tubes, I'd get to the bottom of some other questions I had.

White grape juice is better for the prostate than tomatoe.

And he has never heard that Mountain Dew will help prevent kidney stones. To help prevent kidney stones drink lemonade.

And that was it. The operation took like 20 minutes and we were home by 5. Right now I am crushing darvocets and kickin back on the couch all day. There is some uncomfortable stuff going on but thats why I am jacked up on pain pills. I feel like I have been cut, but all is healing well.

So if you want my opinion, I would recommend it to any guy who thinks they want a vasectomy.